Hunny! 40 Days in the 100 Aker Wood – Day 27 – Friday after 4th Sunday of Lent

To Read:

[Pooh is speaking to Christopher Robin and Owl] 

“I had a Very Important Missage sent me in a bottle, and owing to having got some water in my eyes, I couldn’t read it, so I brought it to you.  On my boat.” With these proud words he gave Christopher Robin the missage.

“Then would you fly to him at once and say that Rescue is Coming?  And Pooh and I will think of a Rescue and come as quick as ever we can.  Oh, don’t talk, Owl, go on quick!”  And, still thinking of something to say, Owl flew off.

“Now then, Pooh,” said Christopher Robin, “where’s your boat?”

“I ought to say,” explained Pooh as they walked down to the shore of the island, “that it isn’t just an ordinary sort of boat.  Sometimes it’s a Boat, and sometimes it’s more of an Accident.  It all depends.”

It wasn’t what Christopher Robin expected, and the more he looked at it, the more he thought what a Brave and Clever Bear Pooh was, and the more Christopher Robin thought this, the more Pooh looked modestly down his nose and tried to pretend he wasn’t.

(Winnie the Pooh – In which Piglet is entirely surrounded by water)

(John 6v16-21)

Have you ever had faith envy?  That emotion that creeps up on you (well at least it does on me) when someone is telling you how they have been blessed in their journey with our Beloved and all has gone smoothly.  There have been no demons and doubts to assail them, no ‘fightings without and fears within’, 

 no ’Dark Night of the Soul’.  It seems almost as if Mother Julian of Norwich has whispered in their ear from the very first steps on their journey that ‘All shall be well and all manner of things shall be well’.   These are not ‘Pollyanna Christians’ – always looking up and outward and refusing to contemplate any ugly or icky.  These are people who have known from the very first that they are held fast in the arms of the Beloved and have learnt that the only thing that can change that is, when the winds blow and the floods rise, if they get fussy and wriggle.

I am an inveterate wriggler of the faith.  Longing to hear the love song of our Beloved yet finding myself unlovable I am hesitant to gaze on the face of love.  I find it difficult to stay still and accept the love of God for fear that I will be found out to be me.  My life of faith is ’Sometimes a Boat, and sometimes it’s more of an Accident’.  I seem to be perpetually rowing against the wind and the waves of life and when my Saviour approaches, instead of rejoicing at the possibility of rescue I become terrified.  Pooh is not one such as me,  The Floating Bear is not much for a ship but nonetheless he fights the battle to stay astride it to find the answer to the missage in the bottle.  And, even though disappointed that the missage was not about him, he seamlessly changes gear to go about rescuing his friend and finding yet another craft.

What are we wriggly Christians to do?  I know that one of the reasons my faith is as it is that the picture I had of our Beloved in my younger years was that of God being a big angry bearded old man who was out to get me.  Part of this is because of my upbringing (I come from a military family) and part of it is due to the picture of God given to me by faithful caring ministers of the gospel who could not see the contradiction between preaching hellfire and damnation in the name of a God who ‘loved us and gave his life for us.’ (Ephesians 5v1-2). My fear of God is deeply ingrained and I weep that some ministers continue to preach judgement and rejection instead of welcome and redemption.

What are we to do?  The Bible tells a story of two brothers, one wandered off and become a wastrel, one stayed at home and settled into a life of expectant inheritance.  When one repented the other rebelled but their father welcomed both and threw a party.  It does not matter whether we have always been close to home or whether we find ourselves far away and longing to fill out tummies with pig food, we are loved.  Wherever we are on this journey we should be doing two things; never comparing our lot to another’s and always looking towards the gaze of our Beloved.  When this happens the wind dies down, the waves settle and indeed, ‘All shall be well and all manner of things shall be well’.

(Julian of Norwich)

To Do: 

1. Take a piece of paper and draw a timeline of your life with 5-year markers.  At each marker write down the word that best fitted your picture of God at that age.  Find which ‘name’ brought you closest to God and try to remember what helped you become close.  
2. Is there any part of your faith or history that leaves you in fear?  Find strength in knowing that ‘Perfect love casts out fear’ and hand your fear to our Beloved who longs to take it away from you.