Finding our Middle – 40 Days with Anna
Day 1 – Ash Wednesday
To Read:
My life with Anna began on such a [foggy] night. I was nineteen at the time, prowling the streets and alleys with my usual supply of hot dogs, the street lights with their foggy haloes showing dark formless shapes moving out from the darkness of the fog and disappearing again. Down the street a little way a baker’s shop-window softened and warmed the raw night with its gas-lamps. Sitting on the grating under the window was a little girl. In those days children wandering the streets at night were no uncommon sight. I had seen such things before, but on this occasion it was different…
…I sat down with ‘Shove up a bit, Tich.’ She shoved up a bit but made no comment.
‘Have a hot dog’, I said.
She shook her head and answered, ‘It’s yours.’
‘I got plenty. Besides, I’m full up’, I said.
She made no sign so I put the bag on the grating between us.
The light from the shop-window wasn’t very strong and the kid was sitting in the shadows so I couldn’t see what she looked like except that she was very dirty. I could see that she clutched under one arm a rag-doll and on her lap a battered old paint-box.
We sat there for thirty minutes or so in complete silence; during that time I thought there had been a movement of her hand towards the hot-dog bag but I didn’t want to look or comment in case I put her off. Even now I can feel the immense pleasure I had when I heard the sound of that hot-dog skin popping under the bite of her teeth. A minute or two later she took a second and then a third. I reached into my pocket and brought out a packet of Woodbines.
‘Do you mind if I smoke while you’re eating, Tich?’ I asked.
What?’ She sounded a little alarmed.
‘Can I have a fag while you’re eating?’
She rolled over and got to her knees and looked me in the face.
‘Why?’ she said.
‘My Mum’s a stickler for politeness. Besides, you don’t blow smoke in a lady’s face when she’s eating’, I said.
She stared at half a sausage for a moment or two, and looking at me fully, she said, ‘Why? Do you like me?’ I nodded.
‘You have a fag then’, and she smiled at me and popped the rest of the sausage into her mouth.
From the Scriptures:
Jesus said to them, “Very truly, I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. 54 Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood have eternal life, and I will raise them up on the last day,55 for my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. 56 Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood abide in me and I in them. (John 6v53-56)
To Reflect:
It may seem counter-intuitive on Ash Wednesday, a day committed to prayer, fasting and the renunciation of desires, to speak about a child eating a hot dog and a young man smoking a fag but perhaps Lent should be more about feasting rather than fasting?
Yes, it is a good and godly thing to put aside those things which have got in the way of our journey homeward and if denying ourselves food so that we may remember a hungry world and do more works of charity where self-service is lauded as an everyday aspiration. However giving up hot dogs and fags for the sake of giving up hot dogs and fags may easily become more about self-righteousness than repentance.
‘Have a hot dog’, I said.
She shook her head and answered, ‘It’s yours.’
‘I got plenty. Besides, I’m full up’, I said.
Was Fynn telling a fib when he said to Anna, who seemed hungry for more than just food, that he was full up? This, after all was his usual supply and he would have expected to eat the whole bag. Perhaps felt awkward and embarrassed sitting down to eat, as he usually did, whilst Anna watched? Perhaps, seeing her hunger his own appetite faded away? Perhaps in the light from the baker’s shop window he saw a chance to not only feed a hunger but help someone find a home?
To Pray:
Feed your people, Lord,
with your holy word
and free us from the emptiness of our wrongful desires,
that we may sing the new song of salvation
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
(Prayer for Psalm 33 – Common Worship)
To Do:
1) Sometime this Lent find the time to share (not just give) food or drink with a homeless person.
2) Aim to receive communion more frequently this Lent.
Please Note: These reflections are also published on my blog: suffolkvicarhomes.com on Bluesky as @suffolkvicar.bsky.social, and on my public Facebook page Suffolk Vicar – Rev Andrew Dotchin. If you would like them as a daily email please send a request to revdotchin@gmail.com
If you have enjoyed reading them please make a donation to The Clergy Support Trust who provided a generous grant to help me find the space to compose them.
Acknowledgements:
Quotes from the book ‘Mister God, This is Anna’ are Copyright © Fynn 1975
Illustrations from the book ‘Mister God, This is Anna’ and ‘Anna and the Black Knight’ are Copyright © Pappas 1975
Psalm Prayers from Common Worship: Daily Prayer, material from which is included here, is copyright © The Archbishops’ Council 2005 and published by Church House Publishing
Scripture quotations are from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
These Reflections, ‘Finding our Middle – 40 Days with Anna’ are copyright © Andrew Dotchin 2025 and may be reproduced without charge on condition that the source is acknowledged.
Suffolk Vicar 
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