Finding our Middle – 40 Days with Anna
Day 33 – Friday after 5th Sunday of Lent
To Read:
The strange insistence of Sunday-school teacher Miss Haynes and the Rev. Castle on using the words ‘seeing’ and ‘knowing’ in such a clumsy way was a very sore point with Anna. The Rev. Castle talked about ‘seeing’ Mister God, about meeting him ‘face to face’, in a sermon one Sunday morning. He never knew how close he was to disaster. Anna grasped my hand tightly, shook her head violently and turned to face me. All her efforts were directed to damping down her inner fires, which would have consumed the Rev. Castle had they been let loose. When it comes to fires, Old Nick had nothing on Anna. She could make the fires of hell look like glowing embers.
In a whisper that echoed around the church, Anna said, ‘Wot the ‘ell he gonna do if Mister God ain’t got no face? Wot’ll he do if he ain’t got no eyes, wot then, Fynn, eh?’ The Rev. Castle faltered for a second and pressed on, dragging with him the heads and eyes of the congregation.
Anna mouthed the words, ‘Wot then?’
‘Search me’, I whispered back.
She pulled at my arm and signalled me to come closer. Her lips plugged into my ear. ‘Mister God ain’t got no face’, she hissed.
I turned my face to her, and my raised eyebrows asked the question, ‘How come?’
Plugging in again, she said, ‘Cos he don’t have to turn round to see everybody, that’s why.’ She settled back in her pew, nodding her head at her own certainty and folded her arms with a full stop.
On our way home from church I asked her what she had meant by ‘he don’t have to turn around’.
‘Well,’ she said, ‘I’ve got an “infront” and I’ve got a “behind” so I have to turn round to see what’s behind me. Mister God’ don’t.’
“What’s he do then?’ I asked.
“Mister God’s only got an “infront”, he ain’t got no “behind”?
‘Oh,’ I nodded, ‘I see.’
The idea of Mister God having no ‘behind’ struck me as deliciously funny and I tried hard to suppress the giggles. I didn’t manage it. I exploded.
Anna was a bit puzzled at my outburst. ‘Wot you laughing for?’ she asked.
‘Just the idea of Mister God having no behind’, I chortled. Her eyes narrowed for a moment or two and then she grinned.
The grin fanned her eyes into flame and she lit up like a Roman candle. ‘He ain’t got one of them too!’ Her laughter ran along the road, erecting little barricades as it went. The all too obvious and self-satisfied Christian worshippers bumped into the laughter and frowned.
‘Mister God ain’t got no bum’, sang Anna to the tune of ‘Onward Christian Soldiers’.
The frowns turned to scandalized looks of horror. ‘Disgusting!’ said the Sunday Suit. ‘Little savage!’ squeaked the Sunday Boots. ‘A limb of Satan!’ said the Albert Watch dangling from the waistcoat, but Anna went on, laughing with Mister God.
From the Scriptures:
[The Visitors] said to [Abraham], ‘Where is your wife Sarah?’ And he said, ‘There, in the tent.’ 10 Then one said, ‘I will surely return to you in due season, and your wife Sarah shall have a son.’ And Sarah was listening at the tent entrance behind him. 11 Now Abraham and Sarah were old, advanced in age; it had ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women. 12 So Sarah laughed to herself, saying, ‘After I have grown old, and my husband is old, shall I be fruitful? 13 The Lord said to Abraham, ‘Why did Sarah laugh and say, “Shall I indeed bear a child, now that I am old?” 14 Is anything too wonderful for the Lord? At the set time I will return to you, in due season, and Sarah shall have a son.’ 15 But Sarah denied, saying, ‘I did not laugh,’ for she was afraid. He said, ‘Yes, you did laugh.’ (Genesis 18v9-15)
To Reflect:
‘Fessing up time. Did you try and sing Anna’s words to the tune ‘Onward Christian Soldiers?’. You have to work hard to make the words fit the metre of the tune but I suspect that would not have been too much of a challenge to Anna and her co-conspirator Fynn.
There is an, albeit somewhat tenuous, argument for the absence of a divine derrière’. Elijah, in his face off against the prophets of Baal on Mt Carmel implies that their god does not hear their petitions because he has gone off to the khazi.[1] But the LORD God who watches over Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps but is ever present and always watching over His children and doesn’t need to wander off for a rest or a whatever. Mister God has truly ‘only got an “infront”, he ain’t got no “behind”’. How else can Mister God watch over every sparrow and flower and every hair on our heads if God is perpetually turning around?
But there is more to Anna’s revelation than just reassessing divine anatomy. Two things come to mind:
Mister God is everywhere – remember we can’t put God in a box
Mister God enjoys a chuckle – which can be upsetting for the Sunday Suits, Sunday Boots and Albert Watches of this world.
A very short survey of the Parables of Jesus and his interactions with those around Him will reveal that God has a, dare I say, divine sense of the absurd to drive home to demonstrate God’s all-embracing love.
Sometimes in the history of the church, wonderfully demonstrated in Umberto Eco’s book ‘The Name of the Rose’, humour has been frowned upon and seen as devilish. (The most recent version of the movie of the book is here)
Being a franciscan, along with Anna, I rail at that and remind myself of the part of our Principles and Rule which calls us to live a life in which;
…rejoicing in the Lord [we] always, show in our lives the grace and beauty of divine joy. We remember that we follow the Son of Man, who came eating and drinking, who loved the birds and the flowers, who blessed little children, who was a friend to tax collectors and sinners and who sat at the tables of both the rich and the poor. We delight in fun and laughter, rejoicing in God’s world, its beauty and its living creatures, calling nothing common or unclean. We mix freely with all people, ready to bind up the broken-hearted and to bring joy into the lives of others. We carry within us an inner peace and happiness, which others may perceive, even if they do not know its source.
Which makes me wonder if Anna was a closet franciscan. I hope so as she would be very welcome in the company of those who follow Mister God’s Boy in the way God’s Fool did.
To Pray:
Take away, good Lord, the sin that corrupts us;
give us the sorrow that heals
and the joy that praises
and restore by grace your own image within us,
that we may take our place among your people;
in Jesus Christ our Lord.
(Prayer for Psalm 51 – Common Worship)
To Do:
1) Enjoy reading some modern-day Biblical Humour. Try Inherit the Mirth and Derek the Cleric. If you want to go deeper re-visit the Lent Reflections on Cartoon Church called ‘Did You hear the One About…?’
2) Write some new words to a familiar hymn tune about your journey with Mister God
Please Note: These reflections are also published on my blog: suffolkvicarhomes.com on Bluesky as @suffolkvicar.bsky.social, and on my public Facebook page Suffolk Vicar – Rev Andrew Dotchin. If you would like them as a daily email please send a request to revdotchin@gmail.com
If you have enjoyed reading them please make a donation to The Clergy Support Trust who provided a generous grant to help me find the space to compose them.
Acknowledgements:
Quotes from the book ‘Mister God, This is Anna’ are Copyright © Fynn 1975
Illustrations from the book ‘Mister God, This is Anna’ and ‘Anna and the Black Knight’ are Copyright © Pappas 1975
Psalm Prayers from Common Worship: Daily Prayer, material from which is included here, is copyright © The Archbishops’ Council 2005 and published by Church House Publishing
Scripture quotations are from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
These Reflections, ‘Finding our Middle – 40 Days with Anna’ are copyright © Andrew Dotchin 2025 and may be reproduced without charge on condition that the source is acknowledged.
[1] The English Standard Version of the text translates the Hebrew ‘he is busy’ as ‘he is relieving himself’. The word ‘busy’ being a colloquialism for ‘doing one’s business.’
Suffolk Vicar 