Waking the… Bereaved

Sermon for National Funerals Exhibition – 13 June 2026

Text: ³⁸After these things, Joseph of Arimathea, who was a disciple of Jesus, though a secret one because of his fear of the Jews, asked Pilate to let him take away the body of Jesus.  Pilate gave him permission, so he came and removed his body. ³⁹Nicodemus, who had at first come to Jesus by night, also came, bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes, weighing about a hundred pounds. ⁴⁰They took the body of Jesus and wrapped it with the spices in linen cloths, according to the burial custom of the Jews.   (John 19v38-40 NRSVUE)

God give you peace my sisters and brothers

Dr. R. Quincy,  Professor Sam Ryan & Nikki Alexander, Dr. Eve Lockhart and Dr. Alexx Woods.  Recognise the names?  Yep!  Every one of them a TV Medical Examiner or Pathologist.  

Who do we in our profession, who care for more bodies than any M.E., Coroner, or Pathologist ever looks at get to represent us?  Six Feet Under.  You’ve got to be kidding!  Working with the dead is just plain unfair!

But turning back to TV, Alexx Woods in CSI Miami is my favourite and an absolute gem.  She is a very special professional.  She takes so much care over the bodies entrusted to her.  Whispering to them about what’s happening in the world they’ve just left.  Apologising for the cuts and tears she makes in their flesh.  Sharing the pain they’ve been through and showing by her gentleness that how we treat the dead reflects how we care for the living.

I see this again and again with unattended Local Authority funerals.  Often, when I have the first booked slot at the Crematorium, I am humbled by the gentle dignity and care given by Funeral Directors and Crematorium Staff to those who have no one else to care for them.  It would be easy for these lonely ones to be treated as just another chore.  But no!  Again and again the unaccompanied and unacknowledged dead receive just as much TLC as those who have a service when the Chapel is full to overflowing.  

This is especially so when the remains are so small they have to be bundled together.  One of my precious possessions is a bookmark I have made from the Chapel notice that simply says ‘Communal Babies’.  Even when we can’t name them, even when they have not been given a name, we still offer care and compassion.

But this is  not who you are.  You are Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea bearing herbs and spices and embalming fluid.  You are the women rushing to the tomb on Easter Day bearing burial clothes and favourite football shirts and family mementoes to lock into caskets to help the journey of grief.

And as you do this you always, regardless of your faith or the faith of the family or the faith of the deceased or even the lack of belief, become Nicodemus, Joseph and the women and are, with them, witnesses to the Resurrection.

No, I’m not expecting caskets to be broken open from inside with shouts of ‘Let me out!’  Though that has happened very very occasionally.  But I do say this.  Every time you tend the dead with care and gentleness life begins again.  

For the deceased, be they faithful, questing, or denying, the Everlasting Arms are wide enough and gentle enough to gather them and the whole of creation.  The way you tend them prepares them for the embrace of the One who made them and loved them before they were born.

For the bereaved, and this is where you become miracle workers, your gentle care and dignity, your respect for them and their loved ones, your decision to go the extra mile again and again brings them the promise of new life and new beginnings without the loved ones with whom they have walked and have lost sight of for a season.

This is your gift and your call.  The women at the tomb on Easter Day were apostles to the disciples.  You are the bearers of Good News to the bereaved.  

You plant seeds of hope in their desert of despair.  You tenderly remind them that life calls them to live more not despite of but because they have lost someone they loved.

Thank you.

My beloved friend and fellow pilgrim Desmond Tutu, (a pioneer in death by choosing Alkaline Hydrolysis), as much as he was in life, said these words so frequently they have become a heartbeat for me.  

Perhaps you may want to make them yours?

[This blog ‘Waking the… Bereaved’ is copyright © Andrew Dotchin 2026 and may be reproduced without charge on condition that the source is acknowledged] 

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The Burial of Jesus

³⁸ After these things, Joseph of Arimathea, who was a disciple of Jesus, though a secret one because of his fear of the Jews, asked Pilate to let him take away the body of Jesus. Pilate gave him permission, so he came and removed his body. ³⁹Nicodemus, who had at first come to Jesus by night, also came, bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes, weighing about a hundred pounds. ⁴⁰ They took the body of Jesus and wrapped it with the spices in linen cloths, according to the burial custom of the Jews. ⁴¹ Now there was a garden in the place where he was crucified, and in the garden there was a new tomb in which no one had ever been laid. ⁴² And so, because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there. 

(John 19v38-42 NRSVUE)